Saturday, January 19, 2008

I heart myself

Speak measured words, and control lingual diarrhoea. Develop the power of endurance. Lead a hard life.
-- Sri Swami Sivananda


i can't even begin to fully explain the importance of this quote. this is the exact lesson that i learned yesterday and now my heart has fully opened up to happiness, love, and loss of expectations.

since my last post i went to Si Phan Don, the 4000 islands in southern Laos, then back to Thailand (Bangkok and to Ko Pha-Ngan for NYE and back again to Bangkok), and now I am in Viet Nam on an island with one of the most amazing and beautiful people I have ever met.

all i can say is, keep your heart and eyes open and all will work out. when the worst situation in the world confronts you, do not run. follow your heart no matter how much it hurts and how scared you feel. i did just that and now i feel like i'm in a dream.

it's funny, so much has changed in the past month and a half but my plans to go to india and south america are the same. i have found so much during this trip, in me and in the world, and also in others. people are what make life worth living, people you love or people you can't stand, it doesn't matter.

the world is huge but also soooo small. i came to viet nam with anxiety like you would never believe. it was like i knew something huge was about to happen and man, was i right. i write this now as a different person than i was two days ago, let alone three months ago. i have been humbled. i respect the world in a different way. i have gone from hating my country to being proud to be american. i am proud to be myself. i can't be anyone else.

i highly suggest traveling in SE Asia or really anywhere that isn't a first world country, if that is all you know. open your mind and happiness follows. sorrow and hardship are best friends of happiness, but it is how you deal with them and overcome them, that really truly brings about bliss and contentment.

going to india is something i have to do, she calls to me all the time, but i think i found something in SE Asia that i've been looking for all my life: a mirror from which i cannot hide. once you face your fears headon there is no stopping you. strength and commitment to living abound. love conquers all.

be blessed my friends, you are all deeply loved and missed every day. i can't wait to see you all again and look into your eyes and give you all a big hug.

much love from Asia, the land of dreams :)

1 comment:

Vicki said...

So great to hear that all is not only well, but amazing. It had been so long since the last post I almost felt like worrying, but I knew in my heart that you were OK. It sounds like you feel more alive than ever, and that is so inspiring! The kind of change you are experiencing is something you couldn't have gotten any other way. That's why you had to go. All I can say is....wow. Miss you, love you, V