i'm on the right track

so apparently writing about how i'm feeling is a good thing, helps me process my thoughts and allows me to move forward in a healthy manner... b/c today not only did i do things that are good for me, but i had to make myself do them and now i know that i will benefit from them in the long run. so i did more of a sustainable form of happy-making.

i walked around del mar beach and town, taking hundreds of pictures. seriously. 415. i was rather surprised. but it was so fun! i was laying on the grass while shooting clouds through tree leaves, with the sun peaking through...i was standing in the middle of the street to get a perfect shot of some gorgeous bouganvilla flowers... i was in love with palm trees. i seriously have like a hundred pics of palm trees... i was standing in the water taking pics of the waves, the rocks, the sand under the water and just sparkling from it's recent descent.... it was so amazing. such a great creative outlet. same with writing. i just need to do it more.

so i spent hours taking pics after making myself eat a good breakfast, then almost stayed home instead of going to yoga. but i made myself go down and hang out in a park and read this book on india that i've been meaning to puruse, i meditated, and then i went to yoga. now i'm sitting in a coffee shop (surprise surprise) and i feel great. taking pics always makes me feel great and so does yoga. especially with this one teacher, he always kicks my ass. but today wasn't as hard, i think i'm getting stronger! yeah! i have another class with him tomorrow. i'm excited.

yoga makes me feel so great, i seriously have begun to really see the beauty in myself. it's great. i moved down here and felt so ugly (just about everyone in southern california is great looking) but now i'm feeling very centered and appreciative of my physical self. i'm strong, not sick, not extremely ugly but luckily not extremely gorgeous. i couldn't travel safely if i were just super duper hot. guys would be crawling all over me. not so good in random parts of the world. i'm just me and i am really truly beginning to love myself! it's great. i still get really hard on myself (as i described in the previous post) but by being balanced and knowing when to push myself and when to lay off, i cultivate happiness. i know meditation is key for my sanity. and reiki. i did some self-reiki last night and i think that helped. i felt sad all yesterday but haven't felt sad today! meditation is awesome. i can kinda meditate while doing reiki, but also need at least ten separate minutes to sit and just calm my mind down. there is a quote i found on the '8 limbs' newsletter (it's an ashtanga yoga studio in seattle, check it out if you live up there):

There is nothing so disobedient as an undisciplined mind, and nothing so obedient as a disciplined mind.

of course it's from the Buddha. Gotama, the Buddha, to be exact. There are many Buddhas (past, present, and future). But Gotama is the one we all know about. Side note about him, he would freak out if he knew what has happened since his death. He was so not into organized religion and would not have wanted one named after him.

you know i think i'm not spending enough time planning my india trip, but for some reason i don't feel the need to. i think i would be fine just making sure i'm aware of major festivals and sights to be seen, and let the rest happen organically. too much planning leads to stress and feeling like you have to hold to your plan. this way i can just do whatever and have an idea of what to do in places that i end up in.

wow i'm tired. i'm getting way too much sleep. it's hard when you don't work and don't have to be anywhere before the afternoon. and even then, it's yoga class. i'm so lucky.

so i'm going to upload my pics to a website thing like snapfish and post the site here on the blog (there is a list of "my favorite sites" underneath the butterfly pic) so you call can enjoy my random attempt at being a photographer!